


To my beautiful you

by sakurakjh



Category: GOT7
Genre: M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 15:47:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14405355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakurakjh/pseuds/sakurakjh
Summary: Jaebum has no control over his feelings for Youngjae. Neither he has control over Youngjae feelings for him.





	To my beautiful you

**Author's Note:**

> The only 2Jae you will see from me, only because my sunshine asked me to red it I thought of posting it.  
> It's over and probably won't do a second part.

Jaebum really liked Youngjae.

  
In a way he shouldn't.

  
It wasn't much at first, just casual glances and cute little gestures he had with him, but the more Youngjae irrupted in his life, the more Jaebum seemed to drawn in those feels. It wasn't like Youngjae led him on. It was just the fact that Jaebum seemed to avoid his gaze, to feel so out of Youngjae friends circle to even ask for a hug.

  
Youngjae was younger than him, so when they asked Jaebum if he would date Youngjae he refused, saying that Youngjae was inexpert and young and he wasn't lying. Youngjae didn't deserve his first were with him.

  
Because Jaebum was broke inside.

  
He was nothing good to him.

  
"Jinyoung i can't do this you know" Jaebum was sit on the sofa while the other were outside, holding Jinyoung in his arms while the younger stroked his hair.

  
"You have to be honest Jaebum" Jinyoung was looking down at him, smiling maybe from the rum or because Jaebum was being stupid again.

  
"If I could be honest I wouldn't be in this situation" Jaebum snuggled closer "Maybe it's best if he hates me for being insensible. I'm a rotten apple that will just infect him"

  
So he just used that excuse over and over again until it worn out. So he stopped trying to hide. Mark was the first to notice after he told Jinyoung. Then it was Yugyeom.

  
Then it was Yoo Youngjae. And everyone seemed to agree that Youngjae felt the same. But Jaebum knew better. The way the younger talks about music, the way Youngjae eyes sparkle when he talks about what he likes. He is young and he doesn't need this in his life. So Jaebum just shuts it inside.

  
It was one day, that Jaebum was feeling clingy and neither Mark or Jinyoung wanted to spend time with him that he pushed himself to ask Youngjae for a hug. They were talking about thibgs that he doesnt remember he didnt want to say anything so he just streched out his arms to him, and Youngjae obliged and came closer to him. He felt so warm and safe. He didn't want to let go.

  
He realized how much he didn't want to push Youngjae away with his antics and complicated insides. But he was selfish and wanted Youngjae to himself. He didn't want to let go.

  
Because every time Youngjae looked at him he felt like floating, he felt right. And his heart could take it. Even if he couldn't meet the younger gaze, because he was too shy, or too afraid he would just blur out how much he liked Youngjae.

  
Because Youngjae was sunshine while Jaebum was the moonlight. And you never get to see them together.

  
One night, Jaebum called Jackson and Mark to talk about his feelings. It was a really long talk that ended up with Jaebum falling asleep in mid video call from crying. Even Bam am came from Thailand to visit him and make sure he was okay. But he started feeling like his feels were rotten. Wrong. Dirty. Incorrect.

  
Even one night he got drunk with Youngjae, and Youngjae seemed to easy to touch him in all ways. He just thought about how he will react if he knew. If Jaebum had been brave enough to kiss him in the middle of the street that night.

  
It wasn't any surprise Jaebum felt angry over little things. He was petty after all. He didn't like when people canceled him. So he just angrily stomped out of the meeting and called the others to not wait for them anymore.

  
Jaebum confessed one Tuesday night over text because no matter how much he tried they never seemed to click the schedules and he was drowning in feels.

  
It was all like he knew it will go. But that didn't stop him from feeling stupid. And mad at himself. How selfish is to expect someone would return your feelings no matter what? He felt wrong. He felt... Not enough.

  
It has happened already. When he confessed to Mark years ago, and even when it hadn't hurt and they were still friends, he couldn't stop himself to think he wasn't enough. Never enough. Not for anyone, and surely not for Youngjae.

  
But then again, Jinyoung slapped some sense in him. It wasn't like he wasn't enough. It was just... How it worked. But that didn't stop Jaebum's mind from thinking he may be brothering the younger, he wanted attention but felt guilty about it. He started thinking he should just quit sns.

  
One night, he and Dahyun got drunk over unrequited love. Even if they dated they were still friends. But things never turn out how you expect.

  
"He doesn't even deserve your love" Dahyun took down a sip of vodka "No one does. You're so naive, you think you scare people away but... You will do everything for them. And that's what upsets me the most Jaebum" Dahyun got up and stranded in front of him in the sofa "You know? I always say I don't want any relationship but true be told I want one. With you, again"

  
"I'm calling a cab you're drunk" Jawbum reached for his phone when Dahyun snatched it.

  
"Kiss me, like old times. You always said kisses don't matter" Dahyun got down on his lap and Jaebum just stared at her softly.

  
"I... I just want to kiss him, sorry Dahyun" Dahyun got out of the house soon after.

Jaebum stared at nothing, thinking. He had never refused to kiss anyone, because kisses were nothing for him.

  
But he just went and rejected a kiss from his 2 year ex girlfriend, who he never had the power to say no to.

  
He was, truly fucked, he thought while staring at the sunlight starting to creep in the apartment he and Jinyoung shared and smiled at himself.

  
One of his last thoughts before he could catch sleep without having a nightmare where Youngjae disappeared was that, if he started coughing out sunflowers, he will ask Jinyoung to decorate his room with them.


End file.
